Minerva
by Jorja05
Summary: My take on a relationship between Albus Dumbledore and Minerva Mcgonogall. Begins when Minerva has been teaching for five years and focuses on Minerva's bluntness to love and her questions on how to be sentimental like Albus.
1. Chapter 1

One:

Minerva marched into the headmasters office as the door opened for her entry. Her face was still, her green eyes full of determination and her mouth set in a simple straight line. She spoke before the headmaster could greet her. "I need to be frank, Albus, which will come as no surprise to you. I strive to be as sensible and level headed as possible, I always have done. Some might see it as cold and inhuman but I have never fretted much over peoples opinions, not since I was a pupil. My heart is an organ, it pumps blood to keep me alive. I have never seen it as anything more and hold little sentimentalities. I seek neither love nor romance and have lived quite happily in the position that I have moulded for myself. I am neither lonely or reclusive but it seems that even I have succumbed to feelings which have never bothered me before. It is better to have them out in the open, rather than dithering and fluttering about like love sick children. I hope that from this discussion, the situation will be remedied, one way or another, and I regard myself as sensible enough to accept whatever the outcome may be." She paused but for a moment, scolding herself for her own stupidity. " It seems, headmaster, that, despite my endeavours to prevent this from happening, that I may love you."

Albus, who had sat lounged in his chair behind his large desk as Minerva spoke, sat forward immediately, his eyebrows raised. "Well, that it certainly the last thing I thought you were going to say."

Minerva shrugged nonchalantly, as if she had simply declared something trivial. Her face had not changed, not a blush, nor a soften of her eyes as she sat on the seat opposite him, with her usual straight back. " lets not dwell on the shock of it, I simply came for your view."

Albus nodded slowly, revealing not a sign of the pounding of his heart. "I am somewhat older than you, Minerva."

It was her turn to raise her eyebrows. "what a funny thing to say. Age is but a number, is it not?"

"I am simply stating the facts as you wished. I am older than you, quite a bit, and you are young, talented and... Lovely."

Minerva rolled her eyes. " I forget that of the two of us, you are the sentimental one. Sentimentalities often elude me. What you think of me makes no difference. Age, talent, appearance aside, I simply want to know whether you feel the same or whether we should agree that I am being stupid and I will simply have to deal with these feelings."

Albus laughed. " This is the strangest declaration of love I have ever encountered."

"Be that as it may, you seem to be avoiding the question. What shall we do about it?"

He smiled. "I found your frankness one of your most endearing qualities, my dear. It means that I never have to wonder what you are thinking about. You have a face of steel, Minerva, perhaps a smile? Love doesn't come around very often."

Minerva rolled her eyes once again. " A smile is not the be all and end all. My face is my face. But my words are given earnestly, I do love you, though it pains me to admit to myself that I have placed myself in such a vunerable position. It seems that I am merely human, though I try to be anything but."

"In regards to your question, my dear, I'm afraid that my feelings towards you have no meaning in the conclusion that we should come to. I could never tie you down, whether I loved you or not-"

"Albus, I have been frank with you and so I expect you have the curtesy to be frank with me. If you feel the same way, then know I do not require flowers and sonnets. Yourself will be more than enough, not extreme effort will be needed from your person."

"Then know, my dear, that should I confess my love for you then our relationship will not be what you want. I find that one is in love, one wishes to give tokens that show the fact and to put effort into it, to... Make their loved one feel that love. I would be a romantic, I'm afraid."

"You may be want you want, as I shall be what I want. I may not be romantic, I may not say things as elequantly as you may, but my feelings are always true, as I say they are. I feel that, being adults, love would be easier if we were honest. I would, if you reciprocate this what I feel for you, show you as best as I can that I feel as I do. I may come across as cold and unfeeling, but know that I love you, in fact, words fail me as I try to inform of how much I do and what I feel." she sighed. " Now, you must tell me what you think. I may not revealing it how I should, but I could not hold it in any longer, you must know. I... adore you, Albus."

"Your sure?"

"Never question my sincerity, Albus. If I have spoken it, then I am sure of it," she said quietly and for a moment, Albus thought he was a flicker of worry in her eyes but it was gone as quick as it came.

He smiled. "Never in my life did I think that I would hear you say those words. I thought that your heart was sealed too tightly, forever more, and that you would never allow anybody to touch it, yourself included. Are you becoming soft, my dear, at long last?"

Minerva smiled for the first time, although it resembled a smirk. "Not soft, Albus but... defeated. I have been forced to surrender. Perhaps, rather than enjoying my obvious pain, you would give some words that will be of some use to me?"

"For words, if passed through one's lips, should always be of use, shouldn't they? It is a good thing that I am not as literal as you, my dear, otherwise this would never work. You see, Minerva, in these last few moments, with your honest and blunt words, you have made every dream I have ever had come true."

"Every dream, Albus?" She questioned.

"Yes, every dream," he replied earnestly. "My heart is yours, Minerva, and it has been for a long, long time. I love your clear thoughts, your blunt tongue, your wit, your practicality. I love you for the woman you are and I expect nothing more then what you always have been. You are a remarkable woman, so different, so unique. I yearn to know you, to know everything about you, for although you regard yourself as clear cut and easily defined, you have the ability to stun me. Today is an example of that."

Minerva sighed and relaxed her shoulders. "Finally. Your answer. So it seems that I do not suffer with unrequited love."

"Certainly not. A painful and miserable business that is."

Minerva grinned. "You will find no comfort from me, Albus. If you felt as you do, then you should have told me, rather then suffer."

"And if you did not return my love?"

"It is better to know the facts and deal with them properly, then guess and question something that you could never know the answer to. You should have done what I have done, have a real conversation."

"We cannot all be as brave you," he remarked.

"That may be but it seems that you don't have to suffer any longer. We both feel the same about each other, so I think that we move onto the next step."

"Which is?"

Minerva sighed deeply, sagging into her seat. "That, I do not know. I have never done this before, I have never wanted this before but something within me is telling me that I could not live without it. It is an alien feeling, but, I must confess, I think that if you had sent me out of here telling me what I fool I was then I think... well, Albus... I think I may have cried!" She blushed deeply.

Albus laughed. "You can tell me that you love me, that you adore me, within even as much as a pink tinge to your cheeks but when you confess that you might have cried, you turn bright red!"

"Crying is... difficult for me. It shames me, that I could not control myself."

"Do you always feel the need to control yourself?"

She nodded. "Yes. But, sometimes, rarely I cannot, as you may have guessed. I'm worried that if I do not keep my guard out, the words will pour from my mouth."

"Let them pour."

"To what means? Words are empty. I do not need to talk of hearts and feelings and roses to prove my love for you. I have told you and you should trust it. I believe that I can show you my love, but it will be... unconventional. I'm afraid I do not know how to do it properly but I know that I do not think that words are what makes ones love real. Words are said and disappear as quickly as they leave the mouth. The security of my knowledge and my depth of feeling for you, are enough for me to know that I love you. I do not need keep reminding myself. I just know."

"I am intrigued, I must as admit. I have often wondered what lies beneath your skin, Minerva, and I can see that it is just as mesmerising and mysterious as what you reveal is. I believe part of what you say, when one feels secure one doesn't need to repeat oneself. Then, allow me to tell you, with some risk of repeating myself in the future, that I love you, Minerva, my dear, hopelessly and endlessly. You have been my world for quite sometime, you invade my every thought, my every dream. My heart is filled with you- your laugh, your smile, your sweet voice- and sometimes when I think of you, I am so overcome with feeling I feel as if I may drown. I will be impertinent in saying that, my words, from what I gather, of course, describe near enough, what you wish to say but you do not know how?"

"Perfectly," she whispered. "How did you know? Sometimes when I think of you... what was it you said? You feel as if you may drown? That is exactly what I feel put into words. I wish I could say it as you do, but my mind prevents me from being able to form it properly, as wonderfully. I don't think I can be what you want me to be, you speak as if you were in a book and I am nothing but a cold, sensible woman. If it not something I can see to describe, then I cannot find the words. Will that be enough for you?"

"Let me be the words, my dear. Too many words and we will be swamped," he said quietly. He rose from his chair and softly padded to her. He knelt down in front of her and cupped her angular face with his hands. His bright blue eyes searched hers, what for, she didn't know, but what she saw in his, mirrored exactly what she wanted him to see. They looked at her, full of adoration, tenderness and a little relief. She closed her eyes, she didn't want to ruin this moment with the coldness of her sharp green eyes, and bent her head. He moved his hand to her chin and with a soft tug from his thumb, lifted her head back up. "Open your eyes," he whispered. "You should never feel the need to look away from me. If this isn't want to you want-"

"It isn't that," she said softly. Suddenly, she was frustrated with herself. She knew that she should be annoyed that she was struggling to convey the love that she felt but instead she was annoyed that she had allowed herself to be so overcome by his soft words, by his touch. She placed her hand gently around his wrist and lowered his arm. "I do want this. I know I do."

He smiled so brightly, she couldn't help but smile back.

"I wish you would smile like that more often, Minerva. You look so beautiful, your dear face lights up."

Minerva rolled her eyes and shook her head but a smile played at the corners of her lips.


	2. Chapter 2

Two:

Minerva felt better as she returned to her quarters and sank into her soft, checked arm chair. Finally, she had spoken and she felt relieved. How stupid of her to hold it in for so long! She had created her own inner turmoil as she spent her evening fretting and thinking. She should have resolved the situation earlier, it would have prevented her from losing so many hours sleep.

Ever practical, ever sensible, Minerva had simply waved away her feelings as a simple school girl fancy. She had felt oddly flushed whenever she spoke to Albus since she was 17 and regarded it is as particularly and childish that she should feel so. When she left Hogwarts, she hardly had time to think about him and so she thought the feelings had vanished. However, when she came back to teach, she was suddenly overwhelmed with seeing him again and she could hardly talk her heart was so far up her throat. For five years she had kept the feelings at bay; sometimes it was easy and she hardly struggled to ignore them, while other times were harder and caused a lot of distress. Never one to question herself, she searched her mind for answers that it could not give. She knew that sometimes it was a curse to be how she was, but then again, it came as a good thing when she needed to be able to have a clear view of things, without her feelings or thoughts clouding the view.

As she poured herself her customary tea before bed, she heard a light tapping on her door. She sighed. If it was a student misbehaving, she was in no mood to be lenient. She had put herself through a great deal of embarrassment and stress this evening and she was tired. "Yes, what is it?" She snapped as she opened to door.

"Oh. I didn't mean to disturb you," Albus said, his voice full of apology.

"I didn't know it was you. Your not disturbing, come in, quickly though, you are letting in a draft," she replied matter-of-factly. She allowed him to pass her before she shut the door heavily and joined him in her sitting room. "I was just having tea, would you like a cup?"

Albus shook his head. "No, I see no sugar on your tray."

"I'm sweet enough, I'm sure," she said sarcastically as she resumed her seat. "Well, don't just stand there, sit down."

Albus knew that that was as much of an invite that he was going to get and he chuckled. Minerva wasn't one to beg or ask sweetly, her tone was always orderly, which was why students feared her so. He sat next opposite her, leaning against the arm of the dark blue armchair. He gazed at her as she sipped at her tea cup.

"Why are you staring at me?" She asked as she placed the cup back onto the saucer. "It's rude to stare, didn't you know?" She sighed. "What brings you here, Albus? I thought we said all that needed to be said tonight."

"It seems to me that we didn't say enough," he said. "I have a few questions for you, Minerva. You won't like them and you will bite and snap at me before you answer them, but I need to know."

Minerva rolled her eyes. "Loves young dream, you seem to be. I cannot promise I won't bite, but I will try... try to keep my temper under control."

He nodded, not believing her. Or rather, knowing her incapable of keeping her temper under control. "It may take some time-"

"Well get on with it then!"

"It's going well, I see. I will be as blunt as I can be then. First question: What do you want from me?"

"I don't know. Next question."

"That is not a satisfactory answer, my dear."

Minerva shook her head and sighed. "I don't know. I suppose, many people fall in love, as they say, and so, seeing as I feel that way about you, I suppose I shall want what they want, what others want. What those things are I do not know."

"And what do you feel about me?"

"You know that I love you."

"Good," he said slowly. "I want you to say it more often, not always to me but out loud, it is what you feel after all, my dear. If you hated me, you would not deter from saying it aloud often enough. It is no different to say that you love me."

She raised her eyebrows but did not speak.

"Secondly, how long have you loved me?"

"I wish to answer- I don't know, but I think you might not accept that."

"You are correct."

"Then the answer is since I can remember."

Albus choked. He had never heard anything so sweet, so whimsical pass through Minerva's lips. He hadn't been prepared for it and it had shocked him. She might have been sincere when she said it, her eyes might be full of truth but still, it didn't matter the tone in which she said it but that she said it at all. "Oh. I see. I..."

"You weren't expecting that?"

"No. I wasn't, far from it."

"Then say so! You have to be honest and don't be embarrassed. We're adults, we've heard and seen it all," she said. "So you may ask me what you are dying to ask. However inappropriate."

"How did you know?"

"I'm not stupid, I've never seen you so nervous."

"Yes, Yes... Very well then. Have you ever loved anybody else?"

"No. Besides the obvious, mother, father, siblings, aunts, that sort of thing no. I was engaged two years ago but I only agreed out of duty. I broke it off when I realised that I could never be a wife to such a... dim man, no matter how kind his intentions. No, I've only loved you and I think that one love is enough for anybody."

Albus smiled. "That, well that is the best answer you could have given me. One final question may dear, and it is the hardest, and your answer cannot be 'I don't know.' Why do you love me?"

Minerva's green eyes became wide. She set her cup and saucer onto the side and pursed her lips. "I think you've come to make a love stricken fool out of me. It won't work, Albus. I am who I am, but if you insist upon it-"

"-Which I do-"

"Then I love you because... your Albus. Your kind, thoughtful, you match my wit, you... well isn't that enough?"

"For now, I suppose."

"You suppose?"

"Yes, but don't think you have gotten away with it so easily, my dear. There are many more questions and many more answers."

"I don't see how there can be!"

"Well, there are but for now I would ask you to stand."

"What for?"

"Do you always have to be difficult?"

"Yes."

"Could you please, stand?"

Minerva huffed and stood quickly, rolling her eyes as she did. "This is ridiculous, don't you know that I am tired?"

"My purpose won't take but a minute." He came slowly towards her and to her surprise, put his arms around her thin waist, pulling her closer to him as he did. " The usual reaction is to place your arms around my neck, without strangling me, and rest your head on my shoulder."

"Why, Albus-"

"Just do it, my dear."

She sighed deeply and wrapped her elegant arms around his neck, careful that she was gentle, and rested her head on his shoulder. "How long does this last?"

Albus laughed. "Are you not enjoying it? You are supposed to feel relaxed and contented."

"It's... nice, I suppose. But, isn't there more productive things to be doing, doesn't seem like a bit of... a waste of time? Obviously, if the time were there, then it could be quite enjoyable, I suppose but who has the time?"

"Couples find the time."

"Find the time! You cannot just make time, Albus! And if you can, then you clearly are more magnificent then I thought you were-" she blushed as Albus shot her a glance. She'd gone completely out of character.

"Magnificent?" He smirked.

"Albus, I- Oh! Your teasing me!"

He laughed. "I might be. Or I might be enjoying all the nice things you are saying about me. Or both."

"Well, enjoy them then, but they won't be said too much. You have hardly said anything about me, after all."

"I didn't think you would want to hear what I have to say about you... it might be too romantic for you."

"Yes, I think you may be right."

"Are you enjoying our embrace, yet, my dear?"

"I am comfortable," she admitted.

"Good. Comfortable is enough for tonight. It is more than I thought you would reveal."

"It is?"

He lifted her head up with her chin and searched her green eyes. She was mysterious but... lovely. He knew that he would spend the rest of his life getting to know her and the thought made his stomach knot with excitement. He leant down and kissed her. He wasn't sure whether she would quickly push him away and was surprised when she not only allowed him to kiss her but reacted. She pushed into him, tightening her arms, and when they broke away, she sighed sweetly.

"You are wonderful, Minerva."

"Do you always have to ruin a moment?"

"Do you?"


	3. Chapter 3

**I'm really enjoying writing this and I hope that your enjoying reading it- I would love to finish it! Thank you!**

Three:

For three months Minerva had found herself loosing her head more often that she would have cared to admit. She threw herself into teaching more than she ever had done, developing lesson plan after lesson plan, months and months in advance and she found her usual self in this task. Critical and direct, no whimsical thoughts filled her head and distracted her as they did when she were not concentrating on something. Despite this, her change of self had not gone unnoticed, even if she thought she were hiding the changes rather well. She was softer, her students found, more prone to a smile and not as quick to dish out punishments. Her essays were at least an inch shorter and she did not scribble sarcastic, though constructive, comments all over them. Students found themselves less fearful of her but would never dare admit within her hearing- they were sure that if she heard such a thing she would soon turn into her usual self. No, it was safer to barely whisper it amongst friends than antagonise her but what had brought about the change was a mystery to them.

It was a mystery to the staff as well. Minerva had always been amicable and pleasant but she had always kept a cool distance with them, although it could never be described as rude. Recently, however, staff were shocked as Minerva began to smile warmly (rather than stiffly) at them as they arrived to breakfast and Madam Pomfrey nearly fainted one afternoon when she glided past Minerva's classroom and heard her humming absent mindedly! Yes, it was noticed by the whole school how oddly Minerva was behaving but no one could come to any conclusion as to why.

There were hardly any theories. Minerva was such a private person that there was little to go on. It could not have been a man, they were sure, for she never left the grounds to meet anybody and she hadn't been receiving any post. No, it couldn't be a man, there was no evidence to point to the fact and that, they surmised, was the only thing that could bring about such a change in a woman but in the case of Minerva, the alteration remained a mystery.

Minerva herself, had no idea that she was being so obvious. She thought that she had everything under control and would have been horrified to have been told the opposite and so, Albus did not tell her, not only to save her pride but for a small entertainment for himself.

He had certainly noticed the changed and he enjoyed watching her when she thought he weren't paying her any attention. It began with slight things such as a slight spring in her step when she usually marched or a soft gaze into no where when she would never of even dreamed of day dreaming before. And then in turned into more noticeable things such as a looser bun when it used to be pulled back tightly on top of her head and her black teaching robes changed colour every so often maybe to a dark green or navy blue. It was remarkable to witness, even more so because Minerva didn't even know she was doing it, let alone understand why she was. Albus knew why and he revelled in watching it- for him it was confirmation that Minerva did indeed love him as he loved her.

Since the first night of questions, Albus had asked her nothing, he just simply let her change slowly as he witnessed it. She had asked him no questions and she had given nothing more away. When he told her he loved her, or was beautiful, or was extraordinary, she rolled her eyes. Recently, he had noticed that when he gave her a compliment rather than rolling her eyes and saying something sarcastic, she smiled slightly and simply said, rather sweetly, "don't be ridiculous, Albus." But she accepted them with much more ease and grace. She didn't say such things to him, the only words that passed through her mouth were practical, but Albus didn't mind- that was simply Minerva and he wouldn't have changed any of her.

It was for this reason that he was rather shocked when one evening, she turned to him and said, quietly:" You may ask me two questions, if you wish."

They were sat in the small, cosey living room, the small hearth blazing noisily. She had permitted him his request for her to sit with her legs across him on the pale couch, but she sat stiffly and kept fidgeting.

"Not the customary three?"

"Don't push your luck."

" I would never dream of it," he smiled. "So you are generously allowing me two questions. And you will answer whatever I ask? Anything?"

" I suppose."

"Good, then I must choose them carefully. What do I want to know my dear? What is there that I could not learn for myself?"

" Oh, stop and get on with it, before I change my mind."

"Very well," he said thoughtfully. " Would you ask me a question?"

"That wasn't what I said."

"But its my question to you, you said-"

"Fine! Fine!" she cried irritably. "I don't know what to ask."

"May I make a suggestion?"

"I suppose you would anyway."

"Then ask me... Ask me how I feel about us."

"This is quite stupid," she sighed. "How do you feel about us? Really, Albus, I feel like a student!"

"Every relationship must be defined at some point. Look at it as a practicality, my dear, then you can agree," he paused as she smiled sarcastically. "Now, in answer to your question, I think that we are good for each other. Being with you has made me happier then I deserve to be and I think it has made you happy too. I could live out the rest of my days with you and never feel anything but utter joy. You could light the darkest days."

"The rest of your days? That's a long time."

"I hope so. But you question it, do you not feel the same?"

"I might not be what you want foe the rest of your days. You may grow tired of my sharp tongue and sarcastic smiles."

"Never," he whispered.

"Never?" She replied softly. She flushed and Albus knew that it was because she wanted to say something in reply, something deep and loving from her soul but she didn't know how to say it.

He squeezed her hand gently. " I need no words, Minerva, I understand."

"You do?" when he nodded she smiled sadly. "I is not like me, but I wish I had the words right now. You say such lovely things to me and I want you to know that I would say such things to you, if I could."

Minerva looked into his searching blue eyes and felt a knot of guilt twist in her stomach. How could she show this man how she felt? Why couldn't she say things that she felt? Damn her sensibilty, why couldn't she break from it for a moment? Well, if her mouth would not let her, she would have to force her body to. She swung her legs off of him and moved closer to him. "I can't say it, that is my weakness but I can show it," she whispered deeply. She leant in and kissed him for the first time by her initiative.

For Albus, it was more than enough. Words, no matter how beautiful they were, were no match for this. He kissed her until she broke away.

Catching her breathe she whispered so quietly Albus almost didn't hear, "I love you, Albus. I feel like I'm losing my head- marry me?"


	4. Chapter 4

Four-

Albus was stunned. His mouth went dry and for a moment he couldn't breathe. He knew she meant it. She never said anything without meaning it. Never did he think that she would come out with such a thing- marriage! Marrying Minerva... his wife. Minerva, his wife. As the shock ran through his body, the thought made his heart shiver with excitement. His wife. Minerva.

Minerva's heart was pounding. She wanted to look away as her face burned and her stomach leaped. She didn't even know she was going to say it- Oh! This is what happened when one allowed their heart to speak for them! Ridiculous notions came out, questions that embarrassed the asker and made everything awkward. With little else to do, Minerva took her normal approach to the matter as she did any matter and said, too loudly: " Well Albus, I believe that this in an example of a closed question, requiring a simple yes or no."

He remained silent but gently pushed her shoulders so that he could stand. He stood with his back to her, his arms behind his back as he looked out of the window onto the grey grounds. "Must you always be so direct?" He asked finally.

"You have always told me that you liked it and wouldn't change it," she retorted quickly. Her temper was rising but she knew that was because of her own embarrassment, not because of his silence. " Why should I alter the way in which I speak things for this?"

"Because this is important!" He cried, his voice revealing the first signs of anger. "A proposal cannot be given out of practicality! It is meant to be given out of love, desire to be with that person-"

"Oh, I know the rest!" She cried. "But that is already on the table... the proposal itself is the practical means to what is already evident-"

"Where are your words of love? Why couldn't you have waited? I wanted... No matter, now. This is the coldest proposal known to man, Minerva, can you not for once, break free from your demeanour and tell me... say to me-"

"You told me you knew! You told me that you understood! This is exactly what I was saying about! This is what happens when the truth isn't spoken, why did you lie? Why didn't you just tell me? We could have avoided this-"

"It was enough, until just now. I can't marry you not knowing whether you are doing it because your mind tells you to instead of your heart," he said quietly, still with his back to her.

"This is ridiculous, Albus, you know that I ask from... You know why I ask."

"Then say it," he turned to her, his voice loud and commanding.

"I will not," she said stubbornly. "There is no need for it."

"Oh, there is need, my dear," he returned coldly, "Even if you cannot not see the reason for it."

Minerva opened her mouth to throw back an icy retort but was shocked as he began to stamp from the room and threw open the door. "Where are you going?" She began to panic, her mind began to race, her heart was pounding in her chest. "Albus?"

"Away from you, Minerva," he said sadly. "I... I cannot-" He raced away before Minerva had time to call him back.

She knew that, if she were the right kind of person, she should have chased after him. But, woe and betide, her feet stayed firmly still. She felt an unfamiliar ache spread through her body and it was... uncomfortable. Her heart was heavy, falling like a stone in water, in her chest but she couldn't understand why. Albus would be back. Surely? This was just a misunderstanding, a light, trivial disagreement that she had started out of her own stupidity. What was she thinking, asking him to marry her? Did she think that was wise? Where was her rationality when she had said it?

That was it, she realised slowly. Her rationality had left her for those moments and had come flooding back all too quickly. If she could have kept it at bay then Albus would still be here. No doubt, they would be engaged. And she did want to marry him. She thought she knew that. It had occurred to her that she did when she thought, quite suddenly, of Albus leaving her. She had been filled with dread and loss at the thought of it and it was these feelings that lead her to the informed decision that it must mean that she wanted to marry him. When she thought about being his wife, she was filled with a... welcoming warmth on her skin and she couldn't help the escaping of a small smile. Yes, she wanted to marry him but why couldn't she tell him that? With those words, with the words that he wanted?

What should she do? Her mind was telling her to shut the door and leave it, no good could come of any other action. Her heart was annoyingly silent, this, the first occasion that she was trying to listen to it by her own will. It was too busy breaking and thrashing against her ribs. Oh, what did that mean? Albus would know, if she had ever had the courage to tell him of it. When it came to matter of the heart, Minerva found no courage. She couldn't speak of them, she couldn't confess her fear of becoming vulnerable- if she could only find the courage!

She searched her soul for it, but couldn't find any. Defeated, she realised that she must run, swiftly and silently, without courage but instead with her heart in her mouth. Before she had a moment to think on it further and change her mind, she began to speed through the dark corridors of the school, not bothering to use her wand as a light. By the time she had raced up the stone steps to Albus's office, she was quite short of breathe and was forced to stop and lean against the wall to catch it before she could go in.

As she held out her head to push open the door, nerves overcame her. What if, despite her saying what she felt she must say to keep him, he didn't want her anyway? Part of her told her that that was life, she would simply have to move on, but another part was screaming, and Minerva knew that it would break her. She would never be able to lose him, not now that she had got him and dread trickled into her heart- she might be too late! She might have not given enough and now... He had realised that he didn't want her, that he couldn't be with her- Then she would be alone! Alone... and it would all be her doing, her own stupidity.

She could dwell on it no longer, she needed to know, either way and with a sigh, she pushed open the door. Albus was at his desk, his head in his hands. He was still and silent, so engrossed in thought that he didn't notice her arrival.

"Albus?" Her voice was quiet, shaking and suddenly she questioned her ability to see this through.

He looked up slowly. His eyes were full of defeat and loss and Minerva felt guilty as she gazed into them. "You didn't come after me."

"I, I could not," she answered truthfully.

"I see."

"But- But I'm here now!"

"Why?"

"Because, I realised, I should have come after you, I should have dragged you back- I need-"

"Minerva, don't waste your breathe, my dear. Do not allow yourself to force things out that you do not want to, not when it won't change anything," his harsh words were spoken softly. " Let us just forget tonight, or the last months together. It was a mistake."

"No! No!" She cried as her throat began to close up. "I can't forget, I won't let myself forget. Neither will I accept this whole thing was a mistake. Tonight was my mistake, I'll accept that, but I wont- we were not a mistake."

"Maybe not."

"Albus, please, can you look at me? Do I disgust you? Have I ruined your soft soul with my harsh words? You need to tell me! Do you love me? Or have I destroyed that as well?"

Albus shook his head. "You do not look comfortable, Minerva. You needn't say these things."

Minerva closed her eyes and drew in a deep breathe. Her will was screaming at her not to do it but her heart... her heart was pleading- she had to take this chance. It might change everything. It was worth the mortification just to know, to gather the facts...

Slowly, gingerly, she walked towards him and round the desk so that she stood next to him. He didn't look at her but she wouldn't allow that to deter her. With great effort and with her eyes closed, she sank to her knees and hung her head. "I... I give you everything I have, Albus. It is not a lot, I admit, but it's everything. I give you my heart, I give you my soul, I give you my body and I give you my mind. You might not take them, but I give them anyway. I have to know, for my own sanity, that I offered you everything I could before you walked away from me. I need to know, that I did everything within my power. I understand if I am not enough for you, if I have hurt you... I am stubborn, I am stupid. I am afraid. I allow my fear to govern my actions- I was terrified to even come to you! I was scared of what you might say, of what you might do. I love you, Albus, I love you more... I just love you. I need you, I want you, I adore you- I... I... Please," her voice broke with emotion as her eyes filled with unwanted tears. If she had been on her own, she would have wept and sobbed until there was nothing left but she couldn't do it here, in front of him. So she wiped her eyes quickly, and willed them to stay dry.

"I saw those tears," He finally said softly. "Escape did they? No need to hide them, my dear, there is nothing shameful in crying, it is what makes us human after all. But, before I continue on what makes us human, there is something I must do," he leant down and pulled her gently up to her feet. "You will never fall onto your knees to anybody, Minerva, you are better than that."

"I would fall onto my knees everyday if it kept you with me."

"There is no need," he whispered. "I'll stay with you for the rest of my life. If you will let me?"

Minerva bit back the retort, 'Haven't I just proven that I would?' but instead smiled.

He stood up, pushing the chair back as he did. He stood against her, their faces almost touching. He took her hand in his and lifted it to kiss it. Then, quite suddenly, he fell to his knees. "I'm an old fool, I know, but I ask you, will you take an old fool and put up with him for the rest of your life? Will you marry, my dearest, sweetest Minerva? I will cherish you, honour you-"

"Yes," she said quickly, sealing it before he could change his mind. He smiled at her but didn't move. After a few moments, she said, with a hint of a sarcastic smile, "Do you think you could get up now? I see now reason to keep me waiting?"

"Oh, Minerva, what am I going to do with you?" He shook his head but was still smiling as he rose elegantly and kissed her.


	5. Chapter 5

Five:

(Three months later)

Minerva found herself absent mind-idly gazing at her hand as she brushed her teeth before bed. On her finger sat a perfectly shining gold ring that she had never thought would evoke such feelings in her. She knew that she should simply accept it as a ring of precious metal but she couldn't. It was precious, it was dear, it was proof that she was his wife. His wife. Wife. She had no idea whether she could make a good wife- it wasn't in her to be motherly and fussing and she shouldn't have that she would be so with Albus but- she could try. She would try her hardest.

Since the outpouring of her heart in his office, Albus had been kind enough not to bring the matter up, to save her embarrassment and not to ask anything of her like that since. It was obviously enough for him and she was pleased- she wasn't sure whether she was capable of doing it again. Oh, she forced herself to try to think as he did and she thought that she managed some things quite well, like the wedding for instance. She had insisted upon a small, quiet ceremony without airs and graces and Albus had agreed, somewhat reluctantly and she was grateful for that. However, she knew that she may have won that argument but he would have been disappointed if she went to him in her usual dark robes and a bun on her head. Despite everything within her shouting objections, she'd worn pale robes, not white (she could never have done that without feeling utterly idiotic) but she had worn cream and pale pink. She felt childish in them, what with that and having her hair curled and left down. Albus had appreciated it though, and she found that, despite herself, she was pleased that she had made him happy in that sense.

Teeth clean and hair brushed, she left the bathroom quickly and went to Albus's sitting room, where he sat in front of a tea tray, reading a book. It was much larger than her own sitting room and quite dark, but the large fireplace was bright with a healthy fire, giving the room a warm, welcoming glow. She sat opposite him and began pouring the tea.

"I don't agree with how much sugar you put in your tea," she exclaimed. "It's disgusting. If you would have a biscuit with it, then it will be sweet enough-"

Albus chuckled, placing the book down but not before marking his page. "I suffer with a sweet tooth, I'm afraid. And don't think that you can trick me and claim that there are three spoonfuls instead of four, I will always know," his bright blue eyes glittered.

Minerva shook her head. "Fine, fine but don't complain to me when your teeth begin to rot."

"So charming, my dear," he smiled, which he knew would infuriate her.

She shoved the tea in front of him and sat down, turning her face up as she did.

"So, my dear, you haven't told me yet, how does it feel to be married?"

"I'm not sure. I'm not sure I feel anything, after all, this is how it should be."

Albus nodded. "Yes, it should be and always be. But what do you want from our marriage? There are many years ahead, there must be something that you wish to take from it."

Minerva narrowed her eyes at him. "If you are suggesting that I married you as a means to an end, you are quite mistaken," she shot.

"Always so literal... No, my dear, I did not mean that you had some ulterior motive in marrying me, just what you foresaw the marriage to entail."

"Being with you."

"I see," he paused hesitantly for a moment before he said, "So, you do not seek more? Such as children?"

Minerva choked on her mouthful of tea. "Albus!" She cried in shock. "We've been married three days!"

"Yes, I know, but what is time? I know I will spend my life with you, there is no need to test the water to see if I will change my mind."

"Children, really!" She remarked, exasperated. She had never thought of children but she supposed that she was married now. Had she the time for children? Would they get in the way of her teaching, one of the most important things to her? Was it practical to have children, when she and Albus must work alongside one another- where would the children go? Would they live their lives at Hogwarts? She sighed. It wasn't a topic that should be brought up so lightly, but she doubt that Albus saw it that way. No doubt, all he could see was a charming baby that laughed at his childish expressions and would hang on his every word. There was no chance that he had thought about the work it entailed, child rearing, or the sleepless nights, or the worry!

"You're over thinking, Minerva, your eyes are darting all about the room," he said, breaking her deep thought.

"I suppose that married people have babies. It's natural. One gets married, has babies- quite common. If you wanted them, then it wouldn't be strange, it would make sense, it is, after all, the natural order of things."

"This is not something that must be looked at in a analytical way. You either want children or you don't."

"Do you?"

"I never thought I was fussed, truthfully, but since everything with you has happened then I must admit, I wouldn't be adverse to having a child on my knee, our child," he grinned.

Minerva rolled her eyes. "And that is my point. You haven't thought about anything but the easy parts of having a child, not everything else that comes with it. Do you think that they will simply laugh and play all of the time? Well, they won't. From my brief encounter with babies, they cry, they whinge for no particular reason, they need constant attention-"

"Why did you ever become a teacher, my dear?"

"Don't, Albus! You are trying to antagonise me on purpose! Would you please just look at it from my point of view?"

"If you will look at it from mine," he replied simply.

She sighed. "I cannot! All I see is mess and fatigue and-"

"Then look at it as something precious, overwhelming, something that you would love more than me, I daresay, and think about what you, Minerva, as wonderful as you are, can give to that child, what you can teach it, what you can show it."

"Everything is rose tinted with you!" She cried. But she had to admit, but only to herself, his words were making her feel... happy. She pictured a child, with Albus's eyes and her own dark hair, forward and inquisitive, asking questions that she could answer. She saw it smile at her as she passed on her knowledge, saw it hold her in highest esteem-

"I can tell by your face that you are warming to it, your mouth isn't pursed," he said.

"How do you know me so well?"

"Because I make sure that I do, I have to be able to read you, to know if I am doing a good job?"

"A good job at what?"

"Loving you."

She flushed deeply. "You know what you are doing! Niceties are not going to make me change my mind. Facts and plans will alter my view."

"Always facts and plans. Well the fact is, I think that a child would be good for you. For us, it will make us complete."

Minerva's mouth went dry in panic. "There is something missing? I am not enough? What have I done wrong? Tell me, Albus, and I'll try-"

"No, no, my dear! There is nothing missing at all. You are my wife, what could possibly be missing? No, I meant that while we are whole, there is always room to add onto something already perfect."

She nodded, still not quite relaxed. Since that awful day when he had fled from her and she had thought she would lose him, she worried that she was not doing enough. She was afraid that he might snap again, unable to cope with her brusqueness or lack of sentimentality. She watched what she said, what smiles she did or what faces she pulled and cursed herself when she said something unfeeling when the occasion called for the opposite.

"You look worried."

"No, no, I'm fine," she replied too lightly.

Albus sighed. "My dear, it will never happen again, I'll never run from you again. No matter what you say. I made that mistake, I saw how much it hurt you and I feel the guilt of that every day."

"You shouldn't feel guilty, never. It was my error, my misunderstanding. If only I could be more like you, then it would never have happened-"

"If it had never happened, we wouldn't be here, as we are, now. It was a steep learning curve for us both but I'm glad it happened. Because of that I may sit here and call you wife," he grinned.

"It's still so strange. I don't really know how to be a wife, if there were books or articles on how to be a wife in our world then I might be able to take notes from them, you know, read up, learn how-"

"You don't have to learn, my dear, your doing perfectly well as you are."

"I'm not doing anything."

"Your sitting there, looking lovely, may I add-"

"-You may not-"

"And why not? Your my wife, I may say what I like about you, most especially if they are compliments!" He persisted.

"Not when saying it has nothing to do with the issue in hand. My loveliness, as you call it, is irrelevant at this moment in time."

"It is never irrelevant."

Minerva rolled her eyes. "Oh, Albus, you are..."

"Wonderful? Brilliant? Clever?"

"Exasperating!" She cried but she stood and kissed his quickly on the mouth. "Exasperating as I said. However, I suppose I will have to spend my life exasperated."

"Throughly so," he said quietly, kissing her firmly and lingeringly. "Especially since I am not going to drop the subject of children. Come, wife, it's time for bed, maybe I can show you what an adventure children can be."

Minerva flushed and shook her head. "That certainly won't change my mind."

"I beg to differ."

"Try me!"

"Oh, I intend to!"


	6. Chapter 6

Six:

Minerva couldn't sleep that night. As Albus laid next to her, his arm thrown limply over her, she was too hot. She hadn't quite got used to sharing her bed. She was used to being able to turn over when she wanted or pull the as much of the covers over to her side or if she couldn't sleep, which was quite often, sit up and light a lamp so that she could read until she became dozy. She was a light sleeper and she didn't need much to be refreshed, but Albus slept heavily and fell to sleep quickly, whilst it could take her hours to finally drift off.

It would take even longer tonight, she knew, to finally fall asleep. Her mind was heavy and was flitting between hundreds of thoughts, so many that she could scarcely concentrate on any of them. She knew that Albus would never have brought up the subject of children unless he had been thinking about it and had decided it but- Oh! They had only been married three days! While she knew that she would always want to be with him, her mind (or, she had to admit, her heart) told her that, neither of them knew what lay ahead of them. They were only just beginning their life together- they would never know what might happen. Albus, God forbid, might suddenly realise that he needed more from her that she could give- like that awful evening when he had wanted more and, sighing, she knew that what she had given then was just about all that she had. Then he might leave her, whether to find somebody new or to be on his own, and then she would be left only with a child or maybe more and then what could she do? Maybe she was over thinking it, but it needed over thinking, it needed a lot of thought from both of them. What ever they decided, it wouldn't just effect them. If they brought a child into this world, the repercussions would not only effect them but the child also, they would be responsible for everything in that child's life. No matter how sweet the image may be of Albus's son or daughter, it simply had to be overshadowed by the enormous shift and change it would bring to all of their lives.

Not only that, Albus was a extraordinary man and that had not gone unnoticed in their world. Grindelwald was only the tip of the iceberg, she knew, and throughout their lives many other such wizards claiming to have extraordinary power would target Albus again and again. A child would be a target, a target to pull on the heartstrings of Albus- his weakness. While Minerva knew that, if her theory was correct, she would also be a target, she accepted that. She was an adult, with her own mind, and she knew that the dangers were outweighed by the love she felt for him. But a child did not have that choice, it would be innocent and trusting, as most children are, and they would be in great danger and may suffer a lot of pain-

Albus was snoring lightly and Minerva shook her head. It was no use, she would never get to sleep now. Moving slowly and lightly, so as not to disturb him, Minerva left the bed and grabbing her dressing gown, padded softly from the room, shutting the door silently behind her. She had decided that she needed a cup of tea and so she warmed the pot up that already sat in the sitting room. Tea, she found, helped to clear one's mind of thoughts so that one might drift off to sleep, or, as in her case, at least help sieve them into some sort of order so that she might confront them and soothe them before attempting sleep.

Her mind was in turmoil and she was disappointed to realise that, as she sipped at her honey- sweetened tea, it was not going to be aided by her drink. She couldn't believe that Albus would mention children so quickly- she had no idea that he even would come up with such a suggestion. She had to admit that part of her had married him because of common ground. They agreed on so many things, they had the same mind in that sense, but she knew that she could not agree with him on this. She had always been in control of her own life and she hadn't realised that once she was married, there were two people in control of her life, just at there were with his. They were one now, they made decisions together and this unnerved her. She just wasn't used to it. She had never considered that her actions would affect anybody but herself because she had only herself to consider in her life but now- now she had him. And that pleased her, in fact, it made her smile, for she never thought that she could be so happy. And she was happy, but was it possible to be happy and unhappy at the same time?

She wanted to please him, she wanted to be what he needed. She had done so before and it brought him back to her but what if this... what if she just couldn't be a mother? What if she listened to her mind's protests and said no? Would he leave her? Oh, God, he would! He would have to, as he had before, and what if she couldn't give anything else, as she had that night? How could she live with out him? Now that she had him, she didn't want to ever let go but what if she was forced to? Would she just have to say yes, would she just have to give up listening to herself forever? Was everything her mind told her wrong, after so many years? What was wrong with her? Could she change it? She knew that she couldn't, she knew that she was cold and unfeeling, that she would never be able to be warm, to be loving, to be-

Suddenly, she felt suffocated and began to sob. She sobbed as quietly as she could, even still conscience that Albus might hear, as her heart broke and her head throbbed. She thought of him leaving her and she felt emptier, crying more and more. She needed him, so desperately, but he deserved to be happy and she didn't know if she could do that. She wasn't sure what he needed but she was sure that she couldn't give it. The tears wouldn't stop, it was against her nature to cry so much and for so long like a school girl, but she couldn't summon the strength to stop as she usually would. If he left her then she would never have any strength again and the thought of him leaving her was having a similar effect.

So desperately upset was she that she hadn't heard Albus wake up, call out for her and rush into the sitting room to find her. When he saw her in a heap on the couch, her tea cup shattered on the floor, he had frozen with alarm. He had never seen her like this, he had never seen her so vulnerable. "What's wrong, what's happened? Why didn't you wake me?"

Minerva buried her head further into the cushions but the flow of tears stopped as soon as she heard his voice. He could not see her like this, she simply would not allow it. "Leave me be, please, I'll be back in in a moment."

"I can't leave you like this!"

"Please, just leave! You can't, please!" She cried, trying to dry her face quickly. She needed him to leave, she needed space to gather herself. She groaned as she felt his arms around her and her face flushed immediately.

"I will not leave you," Albus said sternly. "It is stupid to presume that I would. Not when you are like this. Look at me, Minerva, look at me. There is no shame in tears."

Still she would not move but simply shook her head. He pulled her up and gently turned her face to him. She closed her eyes, she had never felt so ashamed of herself.

"Open your eyes, you need to look at me," his tone was harsh and so she did, however his eyes were soft as he searched her face. "Have I done something wrong? I would never want to upset you, my dear, please, tell me. I can try to make it better, I-"

"No, no," she cried, shaking her head weakly. "It isn't you, it's me. Oh, please, Albus, I'm fine now, please go back to be and I'll follow shortly-"

"No. I'm not leaving you alone, if you are suffering."

"I'm not suffering."

"Your face tells me otherwise," he retorted but then he sighed and said softly, "please talk to me, my dear. I want to help you, let me help you."

"I can't, they are my own demons, if I tell you, you might, might... I can't."

"I might what?"

"Leave me," she whispered. Her embarrassment at such a confession had faded instantly at the thought of being alone. She was filled with dread.

"Why would I ever do that?"

"Because I can't give you what you want. Because I'm not enough, because you deserve more than me and one day you might realise that," she said weakly.

"Never! You are more then I deserve, much, much more. You give me everything I could possibly want, my dear. I thought you knew that... after before."

She sighed deeply. She knew she would have to tell him her worries, he wouldn't leave her alone if she didn't. "You said you wanted... you wanted a baby. I don't know if I can do that. But if I can't and that makes you unhappy, you'll go and I'll be on my own and I'll hate myself for pushing you away. I should just give in and make you happy, I know this, I know I have to make you happy but I can't. I have doubts about it all, doubts that need speaking about, that need thought-"

"Stop. Stop." He held his hand to her mouth. "I won't ever leave you and I would never because of that. I said I had thought about having a baby, that it might be... nice, but we both have to agree. It's our decision, we must both be comfortable with it. You mustn't give up your happiness to make mine. If your worried about that time... when I made that huge mistake, when I... didn't understand you... have I ruined you because of that? Will you ever trust me again? Trust that I mean to always be with you, no matter what? I would never do that again, never, I regret that- I made you feel so-"

"Albus, if you left me, I would die."

"And I would die if you left me. You see, you are what I need! You do say the right things, things that I might say, when they are needed."

Minerva blushed. She felt like herself again and swung her legs around so that she could sit up. "Well, my stupidity is overwhelming isn't it? My moment has rectified itself and I feel quite normal again. What was I thinking? When has crying ever been productive in any situation or offered results? Come, it's late, I promise not to forget myself again."

"Well, at least I know you are soothed," he smiled. "Your practicality is... well, exceptional."

"That is the greatest compliment you could give me."

"I'm sure," Albus chuckled as she followed her back to bed.


	7. Chapter 7

_Hi guys! Sorry for the late update but now I'm on a role, I'm hoping to add a few more chapters in quick succession! Hope you are enjoying it, I would love to finish it, if you want it finished! (I have a good idea, at least I think it's good!) _**Thank you for all your reviews, it's lovely getting them and seeing that you are enjoying it! BTW- Obviously I don't own anything- keep forgetting to put it on top of the rest!**

Seven:

_1979_

"Quite absurd! Absolutely ludicrous! At my age, such things are-"

"Oh, stop!" Poppy Pomfrey exclaimed. "Minerva, it isn't absurd, you know that. Your quite capable at other things, so why shouldn't you be capable of this?" Poppy grinned.

Minerva rolled her eyes. "Don't be crude, Pomfrey, it doesn't become you," she retorted dryly. The truth was that Minerva was terrified. Faint memories, that she had tried so hard to push away came back, filling her with pain and dread. The darkness of their world suddenly become a huge threat when before it had been a worry- a worry for other people, certainly not herself, for she had Albus- and she was... old. There was no denying it. She was old. At forty- four, she was no longer as lean as she had been and her hair was not as dark and shining. She had mastered the art of hiding her greys by sweeping her hair at a different angle into her bun.

"Don't get snarky with me, just because your scared."

Minerva shot her an icy glance. "I'm not scared-"

"Well, you should be, that would be a normal reaction... after last time."

"Don't! Don't talk about it," Minerva said closing her eyes. Poppy was dear to her, after everything that had happened, but she was so open, especially when it came to feelings, and that frightened Minerva, who regarded feelings as something private... rather a taboo subject.

"I'm sorry, dear," Poppy said and she wrapped an arm around Minerva's thin, tensed shoulders. "Come now, your going to be fine. Your not old, never! I don't regard myself as old so you absolutely cannot be!"

She arched an eyebrow. "Believe what you will, my deluded friend. I see the world for what is it-"

"-Too much-"

"-That is your opinion. Thank you for your time. You should get back to your students, I want them back in my lessons as soon as possible..." she rushed from the infirmary, angry because she was about to burst into tears. She was not one to be given to weeping but she felt that she was going to succumb to it- and there was no where to hide. There were no empty classrooms in this corridor, no curtains to hide behind- she would have to rush back to her rooms and hope that Albus wasn't there. She didn't want to be questioned, she didn't want to talk, to believe-

She had no luck for as soon as she closed the door she heard him humming lightly, as he did when he was working in front of her fire. He grinned at her as she walked in, trying her hardest to conceal her feelings, but his face fell when he looked into her face properly and he was at her side within moments.

"What's wrong? Had something happened? The Weasley's... Potter's? Aberforth?"

"No, no, it's nothing like that," she said quietly. She wanted to think of a lie quickly but she could not. She sighed. "No one is hurt, they are quite safe. He has been rather quiet these few months... it's unnerving."

"Your quite safe, my dear," He replied sternly. "Always, I will not let anything happen to you."

"I know."

"Good," he paused for a moment. "Now, what is wrong with you?"

Minerva shook her head. "Why... Why can I not have my own mind? My own thoughts? Why must you know everything. You may as well use the powers you have to read my mind, it would save my breath."

"You can have your own mind! Do not make me out to be as... as bad as the Malfoy's to their wives. I simply wish to know what you are thinking for it is distressing you so and I want to help."

"Why?"

"Because, when you became my wife, you allowed me to help you in everything that should be uncomfortable for you."

"I see, though I saw no such clause on the contract-"

"Don't change the subject!" He smiled. "You forget, my dear, that I have been married to you these past twenty years, I know exactly what you are doing."

Minerva sighed. "I wish you didn't," she said. "I have some... strange news. I did not think- well, it is done now, Poppy assures me that I will be fine, she seems knowledgable enough, don't you think? Well, I suppose, but she is rather light headed, my mother would say that she had her head in the clouds, that the Sun was always shining in Poppy Pomfrey's world-"

"Your doing it again."

"Fine! Fine!" She cried irritably. "Despite my increasing age, despite the mess I made of it last time, it seems, Albus, that you have managed, well frankly, you have managed the impossible. I am going to have a baby."

Albus paled. Minerva had to admit that she expected a rather foolish school boy grin from Albus and the deathly white of his face frightened her. She hoped he weren't having a heart attack- or some sort of stroke!

"Albus, I know it's a shock, but could you speak to me-"

"Minerva. This can't happen. You don't- it isn't safe..."

"Poppy says I'll be fine. I was last time, she says it won't end like that... that I will more than likely carry it to full term... it won't be like our son, Albus, this child will be alive."

Albus shook his head. "It isn't that," he said quietly. "When it happened last time, I understood that you were too scared to try again-"

"I wasn't scared!" She protested. "It wasn't practical."

"You may carry on with your excuse but I know the real reason. I know that you were scared and I accepted that we would not have a family. You are all I need, more than I deserve... but that would have been the best time. We were safe then, the children would grow up in safety but, my dear, we are targets and our child- the blood of Dumbledore and Minerva, the greatest witch of her time, the lost love of Tom Riddle, will be- can you imagine?"

Minerva's heart was pounding. She felt faint. She had never thought of it like that- she had only been shocked, slightly irritated that she were so old to have her first child- she had never thought about the fact that it's father was Albus Dumbledore. Voldemort would have his Death Eaters come for the child before it was wrapped in a towel and Albus would defend it to the death- Albus would put himself in danger, Albus would die... her child would die.

"How has this happened?" She cried.

Albus raised his brow. "If you need me to answer that then I'm afraid that I could not have made the proper impact."

"Don't be so childish! Not in this situation- oh, God, Albus, what are we going to do?"

"I don't know, my dear."

"We can have him be a sitting duck. I won't let them- I'll lose everything, everything I've ever had, ever wanted-"

"I wish I could give you everything you wanted. I wish that I could keep you safe... the both of you when the time comes, but, I don't know how long I can fight Riddle for. He's more powerful than I ever, with the weakness of you and the child... I can't trust in my ability to keep him away." He hung his head defeatedly.

"Oh, Albus! This is entirely my fault! I thought I was too old to conceive, I still think I'm too old! If you were to fight, you know I would too, I couldn't live without you- what can we do about this? What is to be done?"

Albus shrugged. "There is only one thing, my dear, only one sane thing that I can think of. It is not completely safe, it has it's dangers but, if we were to pull it off... even if something happened to us, the child would be safe."

"What is it?"

"We give the child to a muggle family. Two people who know nothing about us, what we are, who we are. A couple who can love the child, Riddle will never think that we could do such a thing- he doesn't understand the need to protect when it comes to love. We will see it when... when it comes to school."

Minerva nodded solemnly. She knew that he was right. It had to be done. Damn Riddle, she was so angry she felt that she could kill him right now, by herself with only her thin hands. "I could kill him! Oh, Albus, why didn't you kill him when you had the chance? Damn him!"

"That will do no good, he is already damned by most of the world," Albus said quietly. "Now, my dear, do you understand that it must be done?"

"I do. Unlike you, I am ever practical. I hope that it may save me a little pain, just as your unpracticality will cause you more than it should. It will have to be... bearable."

"Yes, bearable."


	8. Chapter 8

Eight:

It was awful. Everything was awful. It was the same pain as last time; only this time the pain came from her heart and not her body. She wasn't sure what was worse- her body burning with pain or her heart breaking with misery. Usually she didn't think about her heart but she was too tired to fight it. Her heart was taking over and she was too weak to stop it. It hurt, the pain took her breathe away. Poppy encouraged her, told her the pain would stop but she didn't understand- the pain would never stop. Once this child left her body, it would be gone, taken from her by the man she loved. All in the name of safety, of love, of protection. These dark times had hardly effected her before, she had felt safe and now...

She didn't want it to come. She didn't want it to be over. As long at the child remained inside her then she wouldn't have to let go, it would be hers. She had buried her son, many years ago, just a tiny child, hardly bigger than her hand... her son... and now she would have to bury another deep into her heart, into her mind. She would have to pretend that it didn't exist, that she was not a mother- for she wouldn't be. The Muggle would be the child's mother. She would feed it and cloth it and comfort it when it cried- Minerva would do nothing. She may teach it when it was eleven, but she wouldn't be able to hold her, to play with her, to love her. She wouldn't be a mother, the Muggle would.

She knew it was nearly time. She felt it. She knew that despite the protests of her heart and mind (who, in this miserable moment, were working as one) the child would do as her body willed and slip into the world. She had no control over nature, over her body and that frustrated her- it was hers after all! Why shouldn't the child remain where it was until she will it to come? Why?

For the first time in hours she noticed Albus, who sat stroking her head lightly, his face grey and foreboding. There was no merriment or joy in his blue eyes and they were not bright as usual but glazed and dull. He had been peculiarly silent- Minerva had imagined him a weeping mess at the birth of their child, so useless and overcome that he had irritated Minerva which would have resulted in her ordering him from the room. But this was not how she imagined the birth of their child at all, she knew, so she could hardly expect Albus to act as she thought.

It was here. One more reluctant push and it was over. She hard the child cry. She closed her eyes. Albus did not move. It was so different from last time, yet so much the same. Last time they had been greeted by an eerie silence, this time she knew that the cries of the child would echo through these rooms as long as she and Albus should live in them. It was the same pain though, the same sense of loss that filled her body. It was the same as last time- it certainly felt like it. She opened her eyes. She strained her head. Poppy was wrapping the child in a towel. She was silent. As grim faced as she was last time. She was pale. Almost as pale as Albus.

She placed the child in Minerva's arms. Minerva didn't dare to look down into the face of it. Albus turned his head and inhaled deeply. She saw him shaking a little.

She looked up to speak to Poppy but was surprised to see that she had gone. Poppy had good sense. She always knew when she should leave, when it was best to be invisible. She smiled slightly. What would she do with out Poppy?

The child stirred in her arms. Still Minerva could not look. "Albus... you should say something," she said quietly.

"Perhaps," he whispered.

"Have you looked?"

Albus shook his hanging head. "No. I cannot."

"Neither can I."

"We should though."

"Perhaps," she whispered.

She saw Albus look before she dared. The child was asleep, it's tiny pink face screwed up, it's eyebrows arched in a way that resembled Minerva's. It had delicate pale eyelashes and tiny, soft hands crossed neatly on it's tiny, moving chest.

"Lovely," Albus said sadly. "So wonderful..."

"Yes, wonderful," Minerva whispered.

"Another boy?"

"I don't know," tentatively, so as not to wake the child up, she lifted the towel. She shook her head. "Not a boy."

"A girl?"

"It would be the reasonable conclusion to come to," she said with a touch of sarcasm.

"Yes, a girl," he paused for a moment, looking back up into Minerva's striking green eyes. "May I hold the child?"

"Of course."

He took the child gently and walked her over to the window. He spoke to her but she had no idea what he was saying, he spoke so softly. Minerva felt bereft, the weight now lifted from her arms. She would have to get used to the feeling. She might hold the baby once more, maybe twice, and then she would never hold her again. She wanted to cry but would not- if she started she would never be able to stop, she knew and she couldn't let her last and only memory be blurred by stinging tears.

"You know where she is going?"

Albus nodded. "I'll take her in a moment. They are expecting her."

"I see."

"I'm so sorry, my dear."

"Whatever for? Your doing your best. It's Riddle's fault."

"Still. I'm sorry just the same," he came back towards her and placed the baby back in her arms. "I told the Muggles that she would be given a name-"

"You did!" Minerva was shocked. She hadn't thought that she would be able to name the child.

"Yes, if you agree."

"I do," she said slowly. "Have you any idea's?"

"Well, I do like Minerva-"

"Certainly not!"

"I knew you would object," he smiled for the first time. "That is my offer, have you any?"

"Something different, so that we may know her when she comes back," Minerva replied thoughtfully. "No Susan's or Lauren's... Hermione will do. It's different but simple enough."

"We would recognise her if the whole world were called Hermione."

"Yes."

There was a long uncomfortable paused. The child squirmed. Albus leaned in. "I will take her now, the Muggles are expecting me."

"Albus- I-"

"It is for the best, Minerva, it is the only thing we can do."

"Yes," she could hardly speak. Her throat was closing, her eyes burning with tears, her chest constricting. She couldn't fight as Albus lifted the child from her again, she hadn't the strength. Albus scurried to the fire place quicker than she could call out to him, to bring her back, and he was gone in a flash of pale green- with half of her heart in his arms.

Albus stumble into the living room, hardly able to keep himself up. The Muggles sat perched on the edge of their pale sofa's, their eyes wide with apprehension. They sat close together, the man had his hand over his wife's.

"Good evening," Albus said as steadily as he could. He nodded his head at the Muggles. "The child is a girl."

The woman smiled brightly. Albus was somewhat reassured. She looked happy at least.

"May I have a moment to speak?" Albus asked.

"Of course," replied the man.

"This child is given to you to keep her from danger. She deserves to be loved. She deserves to be safe. She will be happy. I know this. I know this because if she is not happy... I am not a vengeful man. I do not seek blood. But this child will be well treated, loved and happy or I will... I will unleash such things on you that you cannot imagine," he spoke clearly, calmly but his tone was filled with threat and meaning and his eyes blazed.

The Muggles nodded.

"Then you may take her, before it becomes unbearable," he whispered.

As helpless as a child he stood as the Muggles emptied his arms and cooed over the child. He watched for a moment, wishing that he and Minerva could hold the child like they did- they loved her more- "Wait!" He cried. "Her name is Hermione." The Muggle woman nodded before she turned back to the baby. Albus slipped away without them noticing. He didn't Floo into Minerva's bedroom but to his office, where he would sit and cry until the sun came up.


	9. Chapter 9

Nine:

Albus woke the next morning stiff, cold and aching. His back hurt from having been leant over as he finally fell asleep with his head in his arms on his desk and his eyes and chest were sore from the empty weeping that had engulfed him for most of the night. He realised that he must have slept only for a few hours, for the sun was a pale yellow and it's rays weakly settled on the floor. The sky was orange, the sun rising from the green hills slowly, bringing a new day- a day that would be like the others in his life, grey and empty.

When he came around from his sluggish doze, his first thought was of Minerva. Had she expected him to go back to her last night? That had been his plan but his courage had failed him; he didn't feel able to see her, the mother of the baby he had so quickly tore from her, and he hadn't been able to look at her, knowing that she hurt as much as he did and that he couldn't do anything about it. He knew that the baby would be waking now, probably being fed by her Muggle mother, not knowing that so far away two people missed her more than she could ever know. She was unaware that her arriving had caused so much pain, pain born out of helplessness, the want to love her and be her parent for the rest of her life, the pain of having that notion cruelly taken from them by a power that they had never, in all their lives, foreseen. And there seemed no end to it. If only Riddle could meet his end, the end he so throughly deserved, and then Albus could have gone and got her back and presented the child to his wife before embarking on the life that he had wanted with Minerva and their daughter since he could remember.

He knew that he should go to Minerva now, that she was probably expecting him, tired and hurting. She would no doubt need to talk about it, to grieve with him for only he could understand what pain she was suffering and so, heavily and reluctantly, he stood and made his way to the door. It opened before he could reach it and Minerva came marching in, her face pale and tired, her eyes strained but, he noticed, she was dressed in her usual black robes and her hair was pulled back into it's tight bun, a bun that hadn't been as tight since before they had embarked on their relationship. He was shocked- he had expected her to remain in bed for days, unable to sleep, eat or think properly, for he knew that was what he wanted to do.

"I thought you might be here," she said evenly.

"I meant to come back but I... I fell asleep."

She nodded, walking past him and taking a seat in front of his desk. "Have you eaten?"

"No."

"Shall I call an elf?"

Albus shook his head. "No, I'm not hungry."

"Suit yourself," she said. "You should get changed, the students will be arriving for breakfast soon."

"I'm not going."

"Why not?"

"Why do you think? Surely you cannot be thinking of going? You should be resting, my dear, after..."

Minerva rolled her eyes. "I had a baby, Albus, I've haven't been ill with dragon pox. Despite what some women might lead you to believe, giving birth does not count for an illness."

"It's not just that."

"It is. I'm not ill, therefore I shall go to work. I have a O.W.L class this morning, they need to practice-"

"You can't go back to work!" Albus exclaimed. "Are you aware of what happened last night?"

"I am. I am not a dunce, after all," she replied matter-of-factly. "I am quite able. I've eaten and-"

"You can't be serious!"

"Perfectly."

"Are you so unfeeling!" He roared. All of the pain, the loss, the grief boiled over at her nonchalant manner. How could she simply get up and go as if nothing had happened? How was it that his world was irrevocably shaken and hers remained as it was before?

"That is not fair-"

"Your not fair! I need to grieve-"

"She is not dead-"

"She is as good as! I cannot be a father and you cannot be a mother! After we lost our son, all of those years ago, and now we've lost our daughter because of some madman, we have lost everything! I need to grieve with you, I need you-"

"There is not point in keeping thinking about it, it will not alter anything," she said crisply.

"Minerva, can you hear yourself?"

"I can. Quite clearly."

Albus banged his fist on the desktop. "How! How can you be so, so calm? Where are the tears? You should hate me! I took your child from you!"

Minerva arched an eyebrow. "You want me to hate you then?"

"No! No! But you should! That would be normal!"

"Normal has nothing to do with us. We agreed on how the situation should be remedied, we went through with the plan, we knew what was going to happen- if we wallow in pity and sadness, nothing will get done."

"I do not care about what should get done! Do you not care about what happened last night? Does it not hurt? Do you not love?"

Minerva rose slowly, her body oozing dignity. "I know what love is," she hissed. " And I certainly know what pain is. I have buried a child and now I have lost another. Two children have been taken from me! I feel the pain, I feel the loss, the huge, gaping hole in my heart- excuse me if I do not grieve as is typically expected, Mr Dumbledore, but I grieve. I am broken. Do not presume to tell me that I do not love. It is because I loved that I'm in this situation. I thought, as my husband, that you would understand that by brushing it over I am able to cope. I thought you knew me well enough but it seems you do not. I have lost as much as you, I will grieve as I want to. Obviously, you do not care for me as I thought, you do not understand me... well that is your misfortune. Your loss is greater than mine, let me tell you, because I can hardly look at you. Do not seek me, do not even talk to me- if I am so unfeeling then I am not worthy of your time. I needed you, Albus, and you left me alone, all night, while I cried out for my child. I needed you to hold me, to listen to me- but you, in your selfishness, could not even give me that. I do not blame you for taking the child from me, but I blame you for leaving me alone. You had your chance, Dumbledore, you had it and you gave it up. You left me alone and now I shall leave you alone. I understand now that I cannot rely on you. You soothed your own needs, your own pain, before mine before ours in fact, I thought that we were one. We begotten our child as one and we gave her away as one but you could not grieve as one? All night I waited for you, I called out for you and you were not there! You were not there! You should have been! You should have been with me! We both lost something last night but it made me see. It made me see past the love I bare for you long enough to realise if you could not be with me when I needed you most, when I would have been at your side all night if tables were turned, then you'll never be with me. I gave myself to you one night, I gave all of me, I fell to my knees to you- and you took it. You took it. I have lost a daughter but you, you have lost a wife also."

She fled from the room, ignoring his useless cries of "Minerva! Come back, please! I do need you, I do care!" But she was gone before she could have heard it and Albus, for some reason he could not understand, knew that he shouldn't go after her.

Minerva went straight to Poppy. Although a private person, she had no intentions of shutting herself in her rooms. She could not be alone, should her resolve waiver and she knew that she couldn't let that happen. She needed to be frank with herself, as she always had been before Albus, and she understood that too much had happened between them for them to ever be the same. She knew that love could not always be enough and it wasn't now. They had both made wrong decisions, they had both carved this path and now they must walk along it, not matter how much it hurt.

Poppy's round face was pursed with sadness and sympathy as Minerva stormed into Poppy's pale pink, flowery sitting room but before she could offer Minerva her words, Minerva held her hand up and said, "Don't, please, I can't stand it. I can't stand you looking at me like that for the rest of my life. Please, do try to be normal with me, it's what I want."

Poppy sighed and stayed silent for a moment. Then she smiled. "If that it what you want, I'll be as normal as can be. Now, let me fuss over you, not out of sympathy but because it is who I am. Sit down, Minerva, I'll pour you some tea. I'm guessing that you are dressed so neatly because you are going to work."

Minerva sat in her usual pink chair and nodded. "You guess correctly. I wish to go back to work, to gain some order and normality in this... well, in this."

Poppy nodded. "No one could ever be as strong as you, I know that I couldn't well."

"Sometimes it is a curse," Minerva inhaled deeply and closed her eyes. "Albus didn't come back last night. He took the child and I waited and waited, I wanted him to come back, I thought that he would. But he didn't. I found him this morning in his office. It seemed he did not need me as much as I needed him. Well, it made me realise, I suppose it was the shock of it, that we couldn't carry on as normal. Too much water, as they say, and so well..."

"But you love him!" It was a question as much as a statement.

"Of course. But... how do we carry on? After everything?"

"I don't know," Poppy replied softly. "I have no idea and nor do I wish to know. When I thought of delivering your child, I thought it would be one of my most happiest memories but... last night, I could see how much you tried to fight against it, to keep the baby from coming and I knew, I knew what it meant. When you told me all those months ago that the child would be given to somebody else, that you could not have it, I never realised what it really entailed. Well, seeing you fight like that, when usually the mother tries desperately to bring about the arrival so quickly, just so that they can see their child that little bit quicker, well it broke my heart. I understood that you didn't want it to leave, that you didn't want to let go. And then the inevitable happened and the baby came and as I wrapped it up, I was shaking. I can never imagine what it must have felt like, but I knew that you were dreading holding the child, falling in love with it all over again because it was going to be taken from you. I had to leave there and then- I was in such a rush I didn't even look to see what the child was..."

"It was a girl."

"Oh."

"Yes, and she looked, well, it was like looking into a mirror, I have to admit! It was kind of you to do that for us, Poppy, I can't thank you enough. I didn't realise that it would affect you so-"

Poppy waved her little hands. "I won't have that! My feelings are trivial compared to what you must have felt!"

"Just the same, I am grateful."

"I know." After a paused, she asked, "What are you going to do about Albus?"

Minerva shrugged. "I don't know. I, I need some time alone. I've got a lot to think about. I suppose the decent thing would be to end cut the ties, neatly and cleanly, but a divorce is so... so final. I have been Mrs Dumbledore for so many years that I cannot see myself as anything but. I don't want to divorce him but I cannot keep him hanging on a thread. As I said, I need time to think but I do know that I cannot be with him. There is nothing left between us now, love maybe, but that will die out once it gets cold. I've left him and I've left him for good. I say this not lightly, because I do love him but I know that I can't go back and I won't.


	10. Chapter 10

Ten:

1991

Minerva stood by the low stool, sorting hat in hand. She tried to keep her expression as dull as possible and tried to stop her eyes from forming an intense gaze at the small, bushy haired girl that stood only three or four feet away from her. She looked so smart in her fresh school robes, her tie neatly fixed and her shoes gleaming. If Minerva had not forced herself to rummage some sort of self control within her she would have run at the small girl and crushed her in a deep embrace. The girl had taken her breathe away, despite Minerva knowing that she would be coming, and she longed to hold her as she did in those few moments eleven years ago... well, nearly twelve.

"Granger, Hermione," she said as cooly as she could and she forced herself not to grin as Hermione nervously walked onto the platform and sat herself down. Minerva placed the hat onto her head and waited. She saw Albus move forward ever so slightly, his brow furrowed in intrigue.

"Hmmm," the hat began in it's usual smooth tone. "Clever, clever, I see. But, there are more things in here than brains. Your loyal... is that courage, yes I believe it is. Lots of it. Your going to shine wherever you go, such talent, such talent. Never been such talent since... well, since the lady standing next to you sat upon this chair. It took me just as long to place her! Ravenclaw will help your brains, feed you what you need to blossom. You'll fit in there I think, but... there is so much more. The firery courage of Godric is coming through, you'll be able to prove yourself, in more than intelligence. Yes, yes... Your much more than intelligence, Miss Granger, much more. I shall put you where I see fit, what is best for you... your intelligence will be an aide when your courage is put to the test, that's for sure... so be it- Gryffindor!"

All in all it had taken the hat five minutes to place her, the same amount of time it had taken it to place Minerva. Among the heart cheers of the Gryffindor table, Minerva looked over at Albus and noticed how shocked he was. Neither of them had expected that and they were both taken aback. Although proud that Hermione was to be in the same House as Albus and herself, she was a little frightened. She would always be involved with her now, so close to her and yet she wouldn't be able to tell her how loved she was, how much Minerva had missed her, how proud she was...

Minerva hardly touched her food throughout the feast. Her stomach was churning and she could hardly look away from the girl. How pretty she was, how bright. Her smile was charming, her eyes sparkling- she was perfect. Minerva felt the pangs of loss- she wished that she could have watched her grow up, she wished she could fill in the gaps of the past eleven years.

Once Albus had finished his speech and the pupils began filing out of the Great Hall, he turned to Minerva. He was still her husband, neither had been able to finalise their separation, but they had been separated since the day after Hermione was born. Although devastated, Albus had accepted it and was honourable enough not to chase her, or to make things so awkward that Minerva would have been forced to leave the job that she loved. They had muddled through the first few years as best as they could until they had learned to get along as smoothly as they could and now, they were friends.

"I never thought that would happen," he said thoughtfully.

"No. Neither did I- but Albus, shouldn't we go to your study? We can't risk being over heard, especially now that she is here."

Albus nodded and quickly lead her through the busy corridors to his office. He was silent, his face grave and deep in thought. He sat down quickly and popped a sherbet lemon in his mouth. "Would you like one?"

"No, thank you. I do not have a sweet tooth like you."

"I know." He smiled sadly. "She is... wonderful."

"I know. I know. I was excited, so excited when I knew she would be coming today but seeing her, well, I didn't know that it would hurt so much."

"It will get easier, at least now we can be nearer then we ever have been before," he smiled. "But that sorting, why, it took as long as it did to sort you- and that was strange enough!"

"Yes, I didn't think that it would be so similar..."

"She must be bright like you-"

"And you."

He sighed. For the first time in years, Minerva felt an awkwardness between them. It was as if... as if everything had changed again. She felt her heart pounding and she was shocked to notice that she had a near uncontrollable want to go to him and hold him. She hadn't felt such things in many years and it was strange. She had thought that her love for him in such a way was forgotten but it had come bursting back, swamping her like never before. She knew she shouldn't act on it, that would cause him more pain and she wasn't cruel. At least, she tried not to be. Maybe it was simply because Hermione was here and everything seemed strange and old, like when they were husband and wife- their old life had suddenly been thrust upon them and they had changed so much since they had lived it.

"Harry Potter was just as strange," she remarked.

"Maybe. I have my theories on him," he replied slowly. "But, as I say, at the moment, they are only theories. At least, Potter and Hermione are together, they might even become friends-"

"I didn't have any friends, not at school. Nobody understood me."

"Potter is understanding, he had suffered as Hermione no doubt will when she becomes too clever for those around her. Maybe they can find some common thread between them, they are alike in that sense."

"I hope so, it did get... lonely, sometimes. My only friend was you," She laughed lightly. "I loved you, even then, but I knew that you were much too honourable to accept it, should I have told you."

He shook his head. "I am afraid that you are quite wrong. I was awestruck by you, if you had told me how you felt, why, you would have been a very young bride. I loved you even then- always," he grew pale. "I'm sorry, Minerva, I forgot myself, I- I-"

"I must go to my students," she said too loudly, jumping to her feet. "Good evening," she flew away in a sweep on tartan skirt and hurried away from him. She only stopped when she got to the portrait that hid the entrance to the common room, quite out of breathe.

Albus had never said anything like that since they had split up, since she had left him. He had always been cordial, restrained and professional, something that Minerva much appreciated. He had never said anything that told her that he still loved her- no doubt to save her from guilt and she was shocked to know that her heart had fluttered when he had said it. She was confused. Did she love him again? Had she ever really stopped? She guessed that she hadn't. She might had formed a ring of steel around her heart and filled her mind with anything but Albus but she hadn't stopped. The arrival of Hermione had thawed her, made her more open to the feeling she suppressed and as a result, the feelings for Albus had come flowing back.

She knew that she couldn't be his wife again, not like that. Too much had changed... hadn't it? They themselves had no doubt changed but- but! She wanted to be with him, she let herself admit, she missed him. She had been lonely, despite trying to convince herself that she wasn't and she loved him. She did. Just as much as she had when she'd married him. Would it be fair to tell him? Would it be possible to pick up and carry on from where they had been before as if nothing had happened? Would he want that?

She shook her head. She couldn't tell him, it wouldn't be fair. No doubt he had resolved to live without her for the rest of his days and who was she to break that resolve? No, she had ruined it. She had done too much, caused too much hurt. Her heart heavy, Minerva whispered the password and slipped through the opening, resolved to ignoring what she felt- she had made her bed and now she would have to lye in it.


	11. Chapter 11

Eleven:

Minerva ran through the dark corridors panting, her heart pounding in her chest, her stomach twisted. She flew around the corners, her four paws carrying her quicker than her legs ever could. She jumped up the stone steps to Albus's office nimbly, and with urgent grace and ease, transformed into her human form as she pushed open the door. "Albus!" She shouted desperately. "Albus! Where are you?"

Albus emerged at the top of the spiralling stairs, his face full of concern. "Shouting, Minerva? Something must be wrong, what is it?"

"Albus! Oh, damn it! I never thought- Albus! She's gone with Potter and Weasley, the youngest one, to get the stone- she's gone down-"

Albus flew down the stairs, drawing his wand as he did and pushed Minerva to the side, so intent was he on getting to Hermione before any harm came to her. Minerva followed him as he sprinted towards the third floor. With a slight flick of his want, he stilled the monstrous three headed beast that snarled at them and with a great beam of light, created a hold for them to fall through the devils snare. As metal keys buzzed around them, he swiped them away distractedly and when they reached the crumpled chess board, both their heart stopped.

Hermione and Weasley were laying on the ground, Weasley covered in cuts and bruises but Hermione- Oh, thank God! Her face was smeared with the dust from the broken pieces but she looked unharmed. Her eyes grew wide as Albus and Minerva marched towards them.

"Headmaster, Professor, I- I didn't mean, I had to help them, I couldn't-"

Albus didn't let her finish as he grabbed her by the shoulders. "Are you hurt? Has anything happened to you- I can fix it, a cut? A broken limb?"

"No, no, I'm fine," she replied and Minerva felt relief flood over her. "It's just Ron, he was taken by... well he had to give himself up so that we could win, you see and Harry, he went to get the stone. I couldn't leave Ron."

Albus nodded. "Minerva, I have to go and find Harry. Will you take Miss Granger and Mr Weasley to Madam Pomfrey?"

Minerva nodded gravely, unable to speak. She had been so terrified that something would happen to Hermione, she was so relieved that she was safe, she didn't trust herself to speak. Albus turned and marched on to find Potter, while Hermione, still wide eyed and frightened, cried, "Please don't expel me, Professor. I was trying to help them, I know I shouldn't have but, but they are my friends!"

Minerva arched an eyebrow. Friends. Oh, friends! Something she had never been able to have at school, oh, the dear girl wouldn't be lonely as Minerva had been, Hermione had someone to confide to, to turn to! "It's not my decision, Miss Granger, but I will certainly tell the headmaster what you have said," she smiled. "Now, we must get Mr Weasley to the hospital wing."

She levitated Weasley, who groaned back into consciousness as he was lifted into the air. "Sorry, Mr Weasley but there is no way that I can carry you all that way," she said dryly.

When they reached the hospital wing and she had given Hermione and Weasley to Poppy to look over, Minerva went back to the office and sagged limply into the chair. Hermione was safe. Hermione was safe. Hermione was... well, brilliant! Fancy a trio of first years getting so far and safely, when Minerva, Albus and Snape had made the paths themselves! Hermione was just as clever as herself, and Albus of course, and Minerva felt the warmth of pride. Hermione was magnificent.

Albus came back half an hour later. He slumped in the chair opposite her. "It was Voldemort. He latched onto Quirrell. Harry was so brave, well they all were... I have the stone, we've going to destroy it, Nicolas and I," he said flatly. "Oh, Minerva, when you came earlier, I thought- if something had happened to her, I... I've never been so scared. I felt as if my world had shattered, I thought- I felt sick, so sick, like the time you left me..."

"Albus, she's safe."

"Yes. And so are you. That is what I live my life for, to keep the two of you from harm. You two are the most important things, people, in the world and intend on keeping you safe always," he paused for a moment and then sighed. "I try my hardest to keep such feelings from you, I know that they make you feel uncomfortable, but I'm afraid, after the scare today, I have to say them. I'm sorry you have to hear them, my dear."

"They don't make me uncomfortable," she said quietly. "Not anymore."

"Oh?"

"Albus, I'm so scared of hurting you more than I have but- but after tonight, after the fear, I've realised that I can't stand the thought of losing you, or her. If I lost you and you didn't know how I felt, how loved you are, I would feel wretched for all of my life. I love you, I love you still, I never stopped. I've wanted to tell you for months now, since Hermione came but-"

She saw anger flash across his blue eyes. "Do you endeavour to pull me down, further and further?" He asked darkly.

"No, I-"

"You cannot toy with me like this! You ended it but you wouldn't divorce me, you wouldn't let me go-"

"I-"

"It is my turn to speak!" He cried. "You told me that we couldn't remain together, that too much had happened, that I had lost my chance. You allowed to me to sit here for twelve years and let the guilt eat away at me. I thought- You cannot treat me like this! You can't come back to me, just because you are frightened and then when I do something wrong, discard me again! I wanted you, I loved you, good God, I still do! I cried out to you for all those years and you never once, once, told me that you loved me, that I stood a chance! I've hated myself for twelve years because of you!"

"You let me down too!" She shrieked. "You left me alone! I just wanted to tell you that I love you! That I was sorry! That I was wrong! You wouldn't divorce me either, you held onto me just as much as I held onto you! Why should I listen to this, this insult, why must I listen as you turn on me-"

"Because you are my wife!" He bellowed so loudly the windows shook. "Because you are my wife and I need to tell you how I feel! I want you to be my with in more than name, I want a real wife-"

"Well, that is certainly not how you go about it-"

"Oh, stop with your clever, icy remarks! It doesn't become you!"

"Well, being a madman doesn't become you! I can see I have made a mistake, I should not have said anything-"

"There! You are doing it again! You give me a thread of hope and when it gets a little rocky, when I give you my true feelings, you cut it as quickly as you gave it and run away!"

"I'm not running away!" She cried indignantly.

"But you were going to!"

Minerva hung her head. "Are we ever going to stop this?" She asked pitifully. "Are we compatible? Is there to much resentment?"

Albus sighed. "I don't know," he replied, his voice soft again. "Perhaps, we are over, perhaps too much had happened. I want to be with you, I do, but not like this."

"I can't," Minerva croaked.

"Neither can I. Perhaps we should... perhaps we should end it properly-"

"No!" Minerva's voice cracked. Desperation filled her, she couldn't let him go. It had been a mistake, she should never have walked away from him before. She should never have been so cold, so cruel, so unforgiving. No, no- she couldn't lose him. No! "Albus, I can't I- I love you. I can't let you go, I can't. I'll die. I'm sorry, so sorry for everything. I can change, I can make it up to you, please Albus, please, don't say it, don't even think it! I can't live without you, I know I can't! You, you have always been there... always. Please, look at me! I beg you, I beseech you, I'll fall before you, I have once before," she threw herself flat onto the ground. "I need you. I've lost her and I cannot lose you too. I've suffered so much, we have, we... please, please, I can't-"

Albus moved slowly, gingerly and knelt in front of her. "Can we make this work?" He whispered.

"I'll do anything," she said earnestly.

Silence fell between them. Then Albus stroked her head lightly. "Minerva, my wife, my dear, Mrs Dumbledore, please, come back to me. To my arms, to my heart, to my life. Come back, I have waited so long for you, I love you. I need you. Wife, come back to me."


	12. Chapter 12

**I hope that you are enjoying all the updates- thank you for staying with me but it's not over yet, still got a few ideas to include if any one is still interested!**

Twelve:

Minerva held her head up to look at him and gracefully pulled her knees beneath her, her eyes never leaving his. He lowered his arm slowly to his side. She had never felt so desperate. When she had left him, she had been resolved to do so and that had driven her but now, she wanted to be with him, she knew that, she knew that much more then she ever had and she was terrified that he might stand up and walk away from her. Her breathing was erratic, to match her pounding heart as it clashed against her ribs. Never before had she been so close to misery- she needed him, she needed him so much it hurt. Seeing Hermione every day had made her realise just what she had lost and when Minerva had thought that she was in danger, she had turned to Albus. She could have gone to get her herself, she knew, but she needed Albus to be with her, to calm her- she felt so safe with him. He had always been able to soothe her, to protect her but she had fought against it for so many years. She realised now that she had to stop fighting, she had to succumb to what her mind, her heart, her body was telling her or she would waste away. She realised that it wasn't a weakness to fall in love but a strength- a strength to gather the courage to put oneself on the line, to take a chance and live with the consequences. She had gotten everything wrong, she knew, and despite Albus's words, she was terrified that it was too late.

He didn't move to touch her and so she remained completely still, though she wanted to throw herself to him and hide in his arms forever. She had missed him. That dull pain she had learned to live with for over a decade, that unrecognisable, yet familiar ache, was because she had missed him, because she had longed for him. What had she done? How could she have created this? The enormity of everything she had given up, when it had so freely been given to her, was overwhelming and tears filled her eyes. She didn't bother to try to hide them.

"I once told you something," he finally said quietly. "I once told you that you fall to your knees for nobody."

"And I once told you I would bend my knees every moment before you, if it showed you how I felt," she replied.

"Yes." He closed his eyes. "That was a lifetime ago. So much has changed... I hardly know you."

"I hardly know myself anymore."

He nodded slowly and rose to his feet. Minerva didn't move, she couldn't. She was too weak. She was sure that he was going to walk away... she wasn't worth this. She watched him as he crossed the room and locked the door, pulling the curtain in front of it. He then lit the fire and within seconds it was blazing. "Perhaps we should sit, my old knees can't lean on the hard floor for too long," he smiled and held his hand out to her. It was soft and warm and... real. He led her to the chair that she had occupied hundreds of times before and then walked around to take his own seat. "I meant what I said."

"Did you?"

"It is my turn to be sincere, I think."

Minerva nodded. She couldn't trust it, not yet. He might suddenly see sense and run a hundred miles from her, never to see her again. That was what she deserved. "Yes," was all that could travel from her dry mouth.

"I never meant to shout-"

"You had every right."

"I have no right to shout at you."

"You do, after all the mistakes that I have made."

"Minerva, the only mistake you have made is falling in love with me. I didn't cherish you as I should, I didn't do enough. I realise that now. I should have given my life so that you could be with our daughter, I should have hidden you, kept you away-"

"Riddle would have found us. We did the right thing," she said.

"I should have come back to you that night, then, at least," he sighed. "I was ashamed to face you, I thought you would hate me. I took that baby from your arms and rushed away. I thought that would be the least painful to do it, I thought that was best. But when I said goodbye and left her with the Muggles, I couldn't face you. I couldn't face your hatred, not when I was so... broken myself."

"I didn't hate you. I wanted you to grieve with me, I wanted you to come back so that we might have found some solace together. I could never hate you," she added quietly.

"Never? Not even after all that has happened between us?"

"No. I knew that even more when I saw Hermione step through those double doors. I almost fainted when I saw how beautiful she was- we created that, Albus. We made the most magnificent child and I realised that she was proof of how good we are together, proof that we were... we belonged. I watched you as much as I watched her while she was sorted. I saw the way you moved forward, it couldn't have been noticed by anyone else but I saw. I saw your expression when history repeated itself and it made me think, it made me think that we had some common ground, that we both loved her, we... And then, when you pushed me aside to get to her tonight, when you saw nothing but the path to her, I felt the same... I needed you then and you were there and that was so much more important. You might not have been there that night but you were there within moments when our daughter was in danger and that is more important than anything that I might need. I could never hate you, I never have."

"Oh, Minerva, we have been rather stupid."

"Yes, worse than children."

Albus chuckled lightly. "Much worse. Minerva, I wish that I could change things but that is beyond my power. I can make the future better, I can try to do that. I want to love you but differently, to make it work properly."

"Albus, can you forgive me? I'm the one that ended us, I'm the one that walked away-"

"There is nothing to forgive," he said quickly. " I understand your reasons, it was a dark time. Our daughter had been taken from us, we were both over wrought. But let me tell you, what I should have told you that night. I have never been more proud of you, or more in awe of as I was that night when Hermione was born. You gave me... us a beautiful child, such a wonder I could never have imagined. And added onto that, you gave her up so gracefully, with such dignity. Oh, I knew that your heart was breaking but you remained so strong, Oh, Minerva, I could never have imagined that you were so..."

"Please don't talk about that night anymore. It was the night that my life ended, that I lost everything. When I think of the night I lost our son, it pains me but I had you all through that, we had each other. The night that you took Hermione, when you didn't come back, when I said those things the next morning, I lose my whole life. I had nothing left. I can't talk about that night, it's the darkest night of my life and I'll go mad if I keep thinking about." She hung her head and began to cry softly.

"I won't say another word, unless you want to talk to me about it. Lets not dwell on those bleak moments, lets look forward, Hermione is here, we've finally overcome our mutual stupidity-"

"Does this mean that-"

"It does. I asked if you would be my wife again-"

"Yes!" She jumped up, quite forgetting herself and leapt over to him. She kissed his hands, his cheeks, his head, his eyelids before finally falling to his mouth. As he kissed her, she felt complete, she felt content. This was everything she had ever wanted, to be with him, to have him always and she knew she would spend the rest of her life with him.

"Oh, finally," he whispered as he broke away from her. He kept his arms firmly around her. "I will never let you go, I can't lose you again. Now that your mine again, and I am yours, I have everything except..."

"Except what, Albus?"

"I've been thinking, about Hermione. I've been thinking a lot actually, since I've seen her. She's a clever girl, bright, mature- everything you were at her age. Her maturity would make it easy for her to understand discretion... to understand and accept her birth. I think we should approach the subject, slowly at first, allow her to adjust... I think we could all benefit from it, it would make all of our lives... complete."

"Are you sure that is the case with her?"

"I've been observing her and she seems... lonely. She has friends, yet, good friends but she doesn't go home for holidays, she hardly gets any letters. I think she knows something isn't right, as I said she's a bright girl."

Minerva's heart danced. "Oh, if you think it could work- why! I've never deserved much happiness!"

"We'll ask her for tea tomorrow," he beamed and Minerva kissed him again.


End file.
